My Words, My World

First drafts – A few pages in the large wilderness of the world of writing

Archive for the category “Writing”

99-word fiction: A day of rest

“What do you mean you have no words? You’re a writer. Find some. 99 to be exact.”

I’d made it difficult for myself. A week of 99-word stories and now the muse demanded more.

He sat there tapping his fingers on the desk, his face and neck red. It was Sunday. I said I wanted a day off.

“A … day … off?”

He slammed his hand on the desk and his fountain pen jumped. I grabbed it and stabbed down on his hand. He screamed.

“Ouch! Ouch!”

“I’m going for a drink,” I said. “99 words on Monday.”

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99-word fiction: The stranger – part II

Following last week’s story, someone (I’ll mention no names but she’s called Sharon…) asked me what happened next. I went to find out…

The stranger stood at the bar, his coat tight around him. The bell chimed as the door opened. He turned.

A woman entered. Her wet hat and coat shone in the light and steam soon rose from them. At the bar she ordered vodka. She turned to the stranger then nodded to a small table in the dark corner and he followed her. They sat.

“I think you’ve something for me,” she said.

The stranger shook his head and smiled. Frowning, she opened her coat enough so he could see the gun.

“You’ve ten seconds to change your mind.”

99-word fiction: Waiting for Friday

Waiting. I hate waiting; for anything.

On Monday I have to wait for Friday. Five long days, so slow you can hear them crawl by. Then, finally, it’s Friday. I’ve waited all week for Friday and now it’s here I get to the end of the day and I just feel tired; of waiting.

Waiting. I ignore the people around me. I ignore my vibrating phone in my pocket, like me it has to wait. I stand and stare.

Waiting. The darkness becomes lighter. Movement, a liquid dance, the light becomes white.

Waiting: for the perfect pint of Guinness.

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99-word fiction – Animal instinct

Every evening the rat would come to my cell. Then I had an idea. It had taken time. I shared my food every evening, and watched the rat leave in the morning. One day I’d asked for a pencil, another day an elastic band, then a piece of paper. The guards had been stupid.

The little hole in the wall was the only way out of my cell and into the nearby market, maybe someone would find him; someone had to know where I was. I tied the note to the rat, watched him leave then said a prayer.

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99-word fiction – Cannibal

I first noticed her tattoo; it was beautiful, a waterfall of colour. She saw me looking and held up her empty glass, waving it at me.  I bought her a drink.

“I love your tattoo.”

She smiled.

Beer followed beer then whisky followed the beer. I must have charmed her; we finished the evening at my place. That was three months ago, and we’re still here.

The tattoo is beautiful. I sit looking at its waterfall of colour and touch it, delicately. Her skin is cold to the touch. It’s the only part of her left in the freezer.

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99-word fiction – Dying for a drink

I dragged my feet over the outskirts of a dusty, run-down town. Silence, total and desolate, greeted me and my fear went before me like my shadow. I would have called out but my lips were cracked and my throat was dry. My tongue felt like leather. I fell and crawled towards the town square. No one stepped out to help me, nor did any curtain twitch.  There was a water pump in the square. I looked around. I was alone. I winced as the metal pump screeched. I had to drink.

Then I heard the first shuffling footsteps.

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99-word fiction – Moonlight

The full moon lit the winter sky, its cold light streamed through the small window high above the man’s head, and illuminated the white walls which turned the night to day, and glinted off the chrome taps on the steel basin. Even his tin cup of water shone with a small square of light. The man couldn’t sleep, his back felt every lump under the thin mattress. He pulled the blanket around his cold body.

He had once counted the passing of the full moon but had long ago accepted he would never walk free in the moonlight again.

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99-word fiction – Voices

I sit down on a stool at the bar. I order a beer. I watch the barmaid tilt her head as she tilts the glass.

Voices getting louder. Behind me, to the side of me but not in front where I can see where they’re coming from. I’m trying to understand if they’re talking about me.

They are, I can hear them. Now they’re trying to whisper but it’s too late for that. They’re provoking me. This happens everywhere I go and it always ends the same way.

I turn on my stool and look around an empty bar.

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99-word fiction – The stranger

The stranger stepped in out of the rain. He wore a trench coat, hat and looked like he needed a gun. He ordered a double whisky. He removed his hat and his wet face shone with the light from the bar mirror. The old men playing poker at the corner table ignored him with straight faces. The barman cleaned glasses with a cloth. The stranger sipped his whisky.

He kept his coat on and wrapped it tighter around himself, as if he could keep the world’s evils from getting in.

Or to keep his own evils from getting out.

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Blood is Thicker than Ink

Welcome to the Advent Calendar Story Train, where you can read through 24 stories under the theme Surprise.

Jane sits at her desk at the front of the class. Following the expected high spirits before the Christmas holidays the class has now settled down and she can concentrate on marking their homework. She takes a moment to listen to the sleet lightly slap the window.

On her desk is a piece of A4 paper, its lines filled with neat, slanted writing in black ink, and the effect makes her tilt her head a little. In her hand is a red pen; and she doesn’t know where to start. She’s afraid to take her pen to the page, to leave ragged red scars and ruining the beauty of the writing.

But beauty is only skin deep, she thinks. It’s the content that counts.

Still her pen remains suspended over the page, as if defying her. She can’t understand where the problem lies; after all, everyone else had had little problem with the homework. At (almost, she tells herself) 16 years of age, the girl, Christine, should be more than capable of writing chapter summaries for The Grapes of Wrath. Spelling mistakes abounded and she still had problems with basic grammar. Jane thought back to her own childhood, how her mother had transmitted her love of English to her. A mother’s love. Even after what had happened, her mother’s love had remained constant. How she missed her mother. Jane sighs, then brings the red pen to bear.

The red pen stops its Bic blitzkrieg, and Jane thinks back to that chat with Christine earlier that term, just the two of them, and just after Jane had arrived at the school (There was only ever this school, she tells herself); teacher and student discussing the latter’s plans after leaving school.

‘I wanna be a journalist,’ the girl had said.

Jane is a great believer in optimism but concedes a limit must exist. The girl wanted to study journalism yet she could hardly construct a paragraph that didn’t require red biro butchery. She wouldn’t even get on one of the tabloids.

Jane had been digging that day and the chat had revealed more than anticipated. Christine was having a hard time of it at home. Being the eldest child, responsibility fell on her shoulders and she had to take care of the children while she should have been studying but her mother, (Mother!), was out and about and up to who knew what.

Looking down at the page, Jane too feels the weight of responsibility and wonders what she can do to help. A Christmas miracle, maybe, she thinks before making another note in the margin on the use of the apostrophe. Christine, we really need to look at the work you’re producing and how we can… improve it. There, that was tactful. Improve it.

Christina sits and writes, ignoring the class and the weather outside. She hates Christmas; why had she been born on Christmas Day? She couldn’t think of a worse day for a birthday.

The slap of sleet has given way to the patter of large snowflakes and the class, with their low ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’ is now distracted. So is Jane. The only head that isn’t turned to the window is Christine’s, which is still down as she continues to write, which she does until the bell goes. Everyone is off their feet, with cries of “Happy Christmas, Miss” and out the door by the time Christine stops writing. Jane waits.

‘Christine, can I just have a moment, please?’

Jane walks over and closes the door. She comes back and sits on the desk in front of Christine and takes a deep breath.

‘Look, when you come back in January you’ll be in your last term before your exams.’ She hands Christine the homework and lets her read her comments. ‘If you can’t get these basics right, you’ll…’ “Fail” was too strong a word. ‘You’ll struggle in the exam. This is the one subject you need to have in the bag if you want to go on to study journalism, Christine.’

Christine looks up from the wave of red scrawl.

‘I will study journalism. I have to. I can’t fail. I won’t fail.’ Her shoulders sag and her head drops and rests on her upturned hands, elbows on the desk for support. She chokes back a sob. ‘I just can’t find the time to study.’

Jane wants to reach out and offer comfort. She needs to be practical.

‘So, let me help you find the time to study. Let’s say two hours a week.’

Christine’s head, still down, shakes a little.

‘I can’t. When I don’t have to look after the kids I work at the café twice a week. I can’t even afford to lose the pittance they pay.’

‘I know,’ says Jane, and Christine looks up, frowning. She opens her mouth, but Jane holds up her hand. ‘How much do they pay you?’

Christine’s eyes widen.

‘How much?’

Stung by the question’s directness Christine drops her stare. ‘Six quid an hour, four hours a week. Why? What’s it got to do with…’

Jane’s hand goes up again.

‘I’ll cover it. We’re more alike than you think. I too can’t fail. I won’t fail and you will pass this exam.’

‘But why would you do something like this for me? Why would anyone look out more me like that?’

It’s now or never, thinks Jane and her hand reaches across the table. At first Christine’s hand is reluctant but then surrenders.

A mother’s love. Her mother’s love. Memories come flooding back. The affair, his arrest, the sacking, his career lying in tatters. Jane the 15-year-old, pregnant by her English teacher, forgiven by her mother and finally giving birth on the day her classmates were at home unwrapping their presents. A mother’s love.

‘On Christmas Day, it’ll be 16 years that I’ve been looking out for you.

The end

Thank you for reading today’s story. The next one will be available to read on December 17th, titled “A Disappointing Surprise“. This link will be active tomorrow when the post goes live.

If you missed yesterday’s you can go and read it here.

Blood is Thicker than Ink

Welcome to the Advent Calendar Story Train, where you can read through 24 stories under the theme Surprise.

Jane sits at her desk at the front of the class. Following the expected high spirits before the Christmas holidays the class has now settled down and she can concentrate on marking their homework. She takes a moment to listen to the sleet lightly slap the window.

On her desk is a piece of A4 paper, its lines filled with neat, slanted writing in black ink, and the effect makes her tilt her head a little. In her hand is a red pen; and she doesn’t know where to start. She’s afraid to take her pen to the page, to leave ragged red scars and ruining the beauty of the writing.

But beauty is only skin deep, she thinks. It’s the content that counts.

Still her pen remains suspended over the page, as if defying her. She can’t understand where the problem lies; after all, everyone else had had little problem with the homework. At (almost, she tells herself) 16 years of age, the girl, Christine, should be more than capable of writing chapter summaries for The Grapes of Wrath. Spelling mistakes abounded and she still had problems with basic grammar. Jane thought back to her own childhood, how her mother had transmitted her love of English to her. A mother’s love. Even after what had happened, her mother’s love had remained constant. How she missed her mother. Jane sighs, then brings the red pen to bear.

The red pen stops its Bic blitzkrieg, and Jane thinks back to that chat with Christine earlier that term, just the two of them, and just after Jane had arrived at the school (There was only ever this school, she tells herself); teacher and student discussing the latter’s plans after leaving school.

‘I wanna be a journalist,’ the girl had said.

Jane is a great believer in optimism but concedes a limit must exist. The girl wanted to study journalism yet she could hardly construct a paragraph that didn’t require red biro butchery. She wouldn’t even get on one of the tabloids.

Jane had been digging that day and the chat had revealed more than anticipated. Christine was having a hard time of it at home. Being the eldest child, responsibility fell on her shoulders and she had to take care of the children while she should have been studying but her mother, (Mother!), was out and about and up to who knew what.

Looking down at the page, Jane too feels the weight of responsibility and wonders what she can do to help. A Christmas miracle, maybe, she thinks before making another note in the margin on the use of the apostrophe. Christine, we really need to look at the work you’re producing and how we can… improve it. There, that was tactful. Improve it.

Christina sits and writes, ignoring the class and the weather outside. She hates Christmas; why had she been born on Christmas Day? She couldn’t think of a worse day for a birthday.

The slap of sleet has given way to the patter of large snowflakes and the class, with their low ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’ is now distracted. So is Jane. The only head that isn’t turned to the window is Christine’s, which is still down as she continues to write, which she does until the bell goes. Everyone is off their feet, with cries of “Happy Christmas, Miss” and out the door by the time Christine stops writing. Jane waits.

‘Christine, can I just have a moment, please?’

Jane walks over and closes the door. She comes back and sits on the desk in front of Christine and takes a deep breath.

‘Look, when you come back in January you’ll be in your last term before your exams.’ She hands Christine the homework and lets her read her comments. ‘If you can’t get these basics right, you’ll…’ “Fail” was too strong a word. ‘You’ll struggle in the exam. This is the one subject you need to have in the bag if you want to go on to study journalism, Christine.’

Christine looks up from the wave of red scrawl.

‘I will study journalism. I have to. I can’t fail. I won’t fail.’ Her shoulders sag and her head drops and rests on her upturned hands, elbows on the desk for support. She chokes back a sob. ‘I just can’t find the time to study.’

Jane wants to reach out and offer comfort. She needs to be practical.

‘So, let me help you find the time to study. Let’s say two hours a week.’

Christine’s head, still down, shakes a little.

‘I can’t. When I don’t have to look after the kids I work at the café twice a week. I can’t even afford to lose the pittance they pay.’

‘I know,’ says Jane, and Christine looks up, frowning. She opens her mouth, but Jane holds up her hand. ‘How much do they pay you?’

Christine’s eyes widen.

‘How much?’

Stung by the question’s directness Christine drops her stare. ‘Six quid an hour, four hours a week. Why? What’s it got to do with…’

Jane’s hand goes up again.

‘I’ll cover it. We’re more alike than you think. I too can’t fail. I won’t fail and you will pass this exam.’

‘But why would you do something like this for me? Why would anyone look out more me like that?’

It’s now or never, thinks Jane and her hand reaches across the table. At first Christine’s hand is reluctant but then surrenders.

A mother’s love. Her mother’s love. Memories come flooding back. The affair, his arrest, the sacking, his career lying in tatters. Jane the 15-year-old, pregnant by her English teacher, forgiven by her mother and finally giving birth on the day her classmates were at home unwrapping their presents. A mother’s love.

‘On Christmas Day, it’ll be 16 years that I’ve been looking out for you.

The end

Thank you for reading today’s story. The next one will be available to read on December 17th, titled “A Disappointing Surprise“. This link will be active tomorrow when the post goes live.

If you missed yesterday’s you can go and read it here.

Me and cats and owls

Another early morning

eyes closed open

my 4am default

it’s no-one’s fault

it’s just that time (again)

I welcome the new day early,

that’s all

while the stars revolve overhead

and thoughts run clear in my head

Darkness, peace and quiet

and the chill before dawn

before the day is born

before the TV chatter

and other people’s natter

You see,

it’s just me and cats and owls

as I write in these early hours

Mosquito

Mosquito

I will hunt you down

It’s not the bite that gets me

it’s the noise

a diminutive, demonic, diabolic dentist drill

“eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

In my ear. Bastard.

I will chase you round the flat

and when I see you…

Splat!

Your life for my blood;

and my ear.

I sweat

Sticky, humid summer heat

Things can only get better

or wetter

I breathe, I sweat

I stand, I sweat,

I sleep, I sweat

I shower, I sweat

But at least it’s not winter cold

and winter grey

with rain on a winter’s day

Sunshine, suntan

shorts and short-sleeves

and sleep uncovered

Sleep?

What’s sleep in this heat?

Instead I write

I write, I sweat

Ice water in my veins

Photo: Canva

Rain, finally

The hiss of the constant rain,

at last.

The patter of raindrops

against the glass.

Windows, tiny windows of clear water

shatter as they hit the ground.

The air becomes water

and the water, air.

I stand, I breathe

and the skies open.

Water washes away the withered spring;

rivers on the road

rivulets on the window

and the trees raise their branches

and give their thanks to the rain.

Two till six

Watching the twos, threes and fours

of the morning clock.

The sixty second minutes, as they

count the hours off.

Sleep eludes me,

sleep deludes me.

Five is here,

in its cold, dark hour,

Five now passing into six

and still I sit,

unsleeping.

My insomnia wakes me,

my insomnia hates me.

Essence

The view outside my window,

stark,

frozen in time.

The essence of the tree

suspended inside.

The view outside my window,

dark,

the lights shimmer,

captured in time.

The essence of the city

flickers outside.

The view outside my window,

mark,

the rising sun,

welcome in time.

The essence of my soul

warms me inside.

Rise

I bleed, I breathe,

I sleep.

Sometimes.

I wake, I walk,

I see

the signs

I go, I stop,

I wait.

For what?

I feel, I fall,

I kneel

beneath the sky

I rise, I try

to stand

my shoulders back

my strength in hand.

Breathe and look and listen

At 4 am when the world’s at rest and the only ones awake are those that should be and those that don’t want to be. I step out onto the balcony, breathe in the deep pine scent which flows down from the mountain. In the clear air the black sheet of night is bejewelled by a thousand diamonds and the planets are visible without the need for technology (except for my glasses). I sit and breathe and look and then I listen to a distant owl, in my usual waking hour before the hooligan cries of the crows begin.

Time

The sun rises

            I sit

It rolls over me

            I sit

It goes down and disappears

            I sit

in the sultry, inert air

that moves not leaf nor hair

like the breath of the dead

or the sigh of angels.

The moon follows sun

            I sit

The planets align

            I sit

The stars wheel overhead

            I sit

In the night’s darkest hour

when time slows down

to the separation of continents

or to the beat of broken wings.

Twisted long dark hours

Twisted long dark hours

suffocating

skin drip and turn, turn

over and back

the weight of air

shallow,

lung heavy

sleep evades me

as does the slightest night breeze

sheets adhere to me

as does the vaguest night dream;

now forgotten

the first birds call

in the sticky summer night heat

in the twisted long dark hours

suffocating.

99-word fiction: Wanted

He looked out from the trees. Nothing moved in the thick summer heat. The field sloping down to the shallow valley floor shimmered and the waist-high corn lost all its ends and edges and blended into a carpet of green.

            He heard dogs in the distance, the heat probably getting on their nerves like everyone else but he was happy it was only the dogs he could hear; for now. 

            A bead of sweat stung his eye and he blinked several times, not wanting to take his hand off the branch it held.

The other was on his gun.

Motorcycle

The road keeps rolling under two spinning wheels

and your eyes are peeled;

for anything and everything

and the heat of the engine burns your knees

as the cool air kisses your skin

and with the visor down you can see the bugs hit your face

while the wind plucks at your jacket with its airy fingers

as you change up and change down

and your ankle stiffens like a rusty bolt

and you sweat; you sweat

and the inside of your crash helmet smells like a wet dog

but it’s all OK because that’s a motorcycle;

that’s my motorcycle.

Pavement

I walk the pavement,
Why would I walk anywhere else,
when I can avoid the chewing gum,
the discarded face masks,
the cracks and the dogshit?

I breathe in the petrol,
the diesel,
the LPG,
and the hum of electric cars.

Two-stroke scooters battle big-engined cars
as they vie for the same space,
for their little piece of road.

Everyone’s going somewhere,
everyone’s got a destination,
home to their evening:
the nagging wife,
the bottle of wine,
the TV sound,
the steak dinner.

A thousand thoughts in a thousand cars,
a thousand distracted minds
all wanting to get where they’re going…
or maybe not.

A thousand different things to do,
but no one’s doing what I’m doing:
walking,
while avoiding the chewing gum,
the discarded face masks,
the cracks and the dogshit.

 

Cat

Cat walks freely,

independent,

Cat sees who he wants to see

and hides from those he doesn’t.

Cat takes a stroll through the garden;

not his, obviously.

Cat goes where he likes,

where and when and why.

Cat sees things in the dark

he sees things we can’t

Cat sees spirits of the departed

and he doesn’t let it worry him.

Cat could hunt;

but decides not to.

It’s in his nature

but not his character.

Cat snarls at the birds

twittering in the trees

why should he climb up,

when he’s found a place in the sun instead?

Cat decides he’s hungry

and moves from his sunny spot,

in through the catflap

and into the kitchen.

Cat looks at the empty bowl

and thinks he should have learned to hunt.

Two hours

A two hour lie-in or two hours wasted?

Head afuzz with insufficient sleep

At least that’s how it felt when I woke up

flicking on the little alarm clock light

with a dry mouth, warm pillow, cold nose

Who turned the heating off anyway?

A two hour lie-in on a dark winter’s morning

Not exactly an incentive to get up

A reading light under the covers,

A well-thumbed copy of Factotum in hand

Bukowski going from drink to drink, job to job, hole to hole

And me thinking it’s time to get up now anyway.

Broken Silence

Today I heard the beat of a swan’s wings

I’d never heard it before

It broke the silence of the smoke of a cigarette

It rippled the silence of a glass of wine

I followed the swan across the still of the lake

I followed its flight across the face of the winter sun

Today I heard the beat of a swan’s wings

and wished I could fly

Good morning

The subtle scream of a distant ambulance

the harsh cry of a crow

the hum of the elevator

and her soft breathing beside me.

The fingers of dawn yet to creep through the blinds

the alien glow of the alarm clock

the annoying too-early church bells

disturb the darkness of the room.

I get up.

Good morning.

A Wednesday stream of consciousness

An on-off night and a mosquito in my ear and I fumble in the dark and then it disappeared but now the night has gone for good for me as I lay there and think of what I have to do, what I probably should do and what I’d like to do and all the while a soundtrack is playing in my head and it’s Manfred Mann’s version of The Mighty Quinn which is not a bad song at 5.30 in the morning, although I’m yawning but now I really want to hear it but that means getting up and using technology and 5.30’s far too early for technology, after all, I’d only check the news and see big, fat Mike Pompeo bully another sick and twisted little country with sanctions, sanctions and, ah! stick your sanctions up your ass, fatty, so it’s no technology for me, like a smoker avoiding his first cigarette to let his lungs breathe, you see, and now I’d love a coffee now I’m up with the birds but I guess putting on the kettle is still technology but I could really use that coffee while my pencil scrawls my morning scribble across an unwritten page.

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